Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

Star Wars: Episode II is a weird film, in that it directly addresses many of the complaints lodged against Episode I but ends up a worse movie. No matter how you skin a cat, it still ends up ugly.¹

The biggest problem with Attack of the Clones is we only care about the relationships at its heart (Obi-Wan and Anakin; Padme and Anakin) because we’re supposed to. Even that’s not enough. I actively dislike Obi-Wan and Anakin when they’re together. The love story is far worse. And this movie is supposed to be the apex of these relationships!

Is it sad or fitting that the only actual affection comes from Anakin’s relationship with Palpatine?²

I don’t hate this movie but it’s easily the worst of George Lucas’ Star Wars films. I think the best thing to come out of this is the teaser trailer where Darth Vader breathes over the visuals.

In this episode

• My hopes and dreams of the Clone Wars vs the actuality of them

• Breaking down the opening crawl

• What are the galactic politics, exactly?

• The blind arrogance of the Jedi

• The troubling relationships at the heart of Episode II

• The assassination subplot

• Moments I dig

• Why this is the worst George Lucas Star Wars movie

1. I don’t know who came up with this metaphor but dude had problems.

2. I do really love the scene with Anakin and Palpatine.