At some point we go from holding the flashlight for our dad to being the one telling a kid where to aim it. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it sure feels like it does.
Also: working with people that weren’t yet born when you were hired can be a gut punch.
Eric, we all go through that, and it will pass. The good news is, it’s NOT better than being old - being old (if you do it right) is much better than middle age. As long as you don’t do anything stupid to make yourself feel better, you come out the other side with a little wisdom and a great sigh of relief. Hang in there.
Aw man my friend. I feel like I've just watched an episode of Gudetama on NFLX - I go in thinking it's gonna be all smiles and chortles, but then at the end I just want to curl up in a fetal position. But I hear ya. I know it's different for everyone, but I had classic midlife crisis at 40, and made it out alive and mentally stronger.
My doctor friend also truly helped me out by reminding me that this is an extremely common feeling that practically all people our age have gone through. Basically trying to get me to feel part of a huge worldwide club or community, so that I didn't feel so alone or devoid of resources I could avail of. Which I definitely partook of whatever assistance and support systems I was fortunate enough to access.
We are both in the same field and I think very accomplishment-oriented for better or worse, so what worked for me is to treat it as my #1 priority and job - to get well. Trust me, it does get better 🫂 I'll be cheering for you Eric!!
I REALLY missed that high-five & it was NOTED my friend. I was a little *dog runs to door* was that it? Did he post? I hope he didn’t fall down a well like that fucking moron, Timmy* As I’m sure the forthcoming comments will prove out: you are so not alone in the “this is not my beautiful house” alla Talking Heads moment. I’ve been having the same conversations-what am I doing, why, how do I get more slow down and less hustle, WHAT the hell IS moisture farming anyway? I loved what you said about not feeling like you’re the captain of your ship. Take it back. Tell the rest of us how. 🙏🏻💗
Firstly, I'm very sorry you've been finding life so exhausting. Much sympathy, and as others have said, this is a common thing by all accounts, so you aren't alone in all this.
I must confess, I don't take after my father. He could fix anything, but for me, a major effort is involved if I want to start messing with tools, etc. I can do it, but I don't enjoy it at all. I'm much more of an academic than a tools person, and would always rather pay someone to do a professional job (not always affordable, so yes, sometimes I have gone into plumber/electrician/DIY mode, etc).
Anyway, great article. Because I no longer have a full-time job, and write freelance, I find it easier to have a lot of writing projects on the go. But I also stick to a strict schedule. Part of being neuro-diverse, highly regimented, anti-social, and a little bit insane, but there you go.
I hear you about the writing at the end of the day. And before someone says “just write first thing!” I need to get in a workout before I hit the real world office at 6AM. Otherwise, the body goes to heck, and then you’re that old guy with the cane.
At some point we go from holding the flashlight for our dad to being the one telling a kid where to aim it. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it sure feels like it does.
Also: working with people that weren’t yet born when you were hired can be a gut punch.
Eric, we all go through that, and it will pass. The good news is, it’s NOT better than being old - being old (if you do it right) is much better than middle age. As long as you don’t do anything stupid to make yourself feel better, you come out the other side with a little wisdom and a great sigh of relief. Hang in there.
If that doesn't sum up my whole life, I don't know what does.
Aw man my friend. I feel like I've just watched an episode of Gudetama on NFLX - I go in thinking it's gonna be all smiles and chortles, but then at the end I just want to curl up in a fetal position. But I hear ya. I know it's different for everyone, but I had classic midlife crisis at 40, and made it out alive and mentally stronger.
My doctor friend also truly helped me out by reminding me that this is an extremely common feeling that practically all people our age have gone through. Basically trying to get me to feel part of a huge worldwide club or community, so that I didn't feel so alone or devoid of resources I could avail of. Which I definitely partook of whatever assistance and support systems I was fortunate enough to access.
We are both in the same field and I think very accomplishment-oriented for better or worse, so what worked for me is to treat it as my #1 priority and job - to get well. Trust me, it does get better 🫂 I'll be cheering for you Eric!!
I REALLY missed that high-five & it was NOTED my friend. I was a little *dog runs to door* was that it? Did he post? I hope he didn’t fall down a well like that fucking moron, Timmy* As I’m sure the forthcoming comments will prove out: you are so not alone in the “this is not my beautiful house” alla Talking Heads moment. I’ve been having the same conversations-what am I doing, why, how do I get more slow down and less hustle, WHAT the hell IS moisture farming anyway? I loved what you said about not feeling like you’re the captain of your ship. Take it back. Tell the rest of us how. 🙏🏻💗
Firstly, I'm very sorry you've been finding life so exhausting. Much sympathy, and as others have said, this is a common thing by all accounts, so you aren't alone in all this.
I must confess, I don't take after my father. He could fix anything, but for me, a major effort is involved if I want to start messing with tools, etc. I can do it, but I don't enjoy it at all. I'm much more of an academic than a tools person, and would always rather pay someone to do a professional job (not always affordable, so yes, sometimes I have gone into plumber/electrician/DIY mode, etc).
Anyway, great article. Because I no longer have a full-time job, and write freelance, I find it easier to have a lot of writing projects on the go. But I also stick to a strict schedule. Part of being neuro-diverse, highly regimented, anti-social, and a little bit insane, but there you go.
Man, that’s disturbingly profound.
I hear you about the writing at the end of the day. And before someone says “just write first thing!” I need to get in a workout before I hit the real world office at 6AM. Otherwise, the body goes to heck, and then you’re that old guy with the cane.