The Friday High Five

On the Gravitational Difficulties of Caucasians, and other things

20th Century Fox

Every Friday I share 5 things that brought me joy this week. Also, high fives are inherently cool, and I think we can all agree Friday is the bestest day. Hence the Friday High Five. 🙏🏻

5 Things I Enjoyed This Week:

• White Men Can’t Jump

• Baylan Skoll

• Dungeons & Dragons

• Hostess Orange Cupcakes

• Happiness for Beginners

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White Men Can’t Jump

I haven’t watched this movie in at least 20 years. So it was something of a surprise when I realized this movie isn’t about basketball at all. I mean, yes, basketball features prominently. But the movie isn’t about it, or dunking, or why white men are historically bad at it (speaking from personal experience).¹

It’s actually about relationships, and our self-destructive natures, and racial stereotypes (duh, that’s in the title), and the beauty of new dreams, and the pain of letting go of old ones, and probably other things I missed. I promised some time ago I’d be covering this movie in some depth, and I’m happy to report there’s plenty of meat on this bone. I’m going to watch it again first.

One quick aside: Wesley Snipes is notoriously bad at basketball. The film does a good job of masking it, but you can tell he’s totally faking it. Snipes pretending to be an actual baller might be the finest acting he’s ever done.

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Here’s a fun little poll I pre-populated with stuff I am interested in writing about after White Men Can’t Jump. Which option butters your biscuit?

I’m seriously torn on which option I want to win.

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Baylan Skoll

Lucasfilm

I’ve plugged Ahsoka in this space the last few weeks, but my affection has been tempered by frustrations with pacing and plotting. This week, I decided to throw off all pretense and finally embrace the best thing about this show: One of the villains. (Though the turtle people are also pretty great.)

Baylan Skoll is freaking awesome.

Star Wars has a long history of mysterious villains who steal the show. Darth Vader. Boba Fett. Darth Maul. Admiral Piett. (Just me?)² Baylan carries on that proud tradition, but he’s also somehow more. I think it has to do with the fact that he’s not actually all that villainous. He’s one of Ahsoka’s antagonists, and he crosses blades with the hero on several occasions—which is generally considered “not good behavior” in polite society—but he’s not evil. Or, at least, he’s not obviously evil, which is actually a huge distinction in Star Wars.

There’s a lot of nuance to Baylan. That willingness to linger in the gray, plus his noble bearing and desire to honor his word to an adversary, puts him in rarified air. There’s never been a Star Wars character quite like him.

It could be that his secret, master plan is to invoke Ultimate Evil, perhaps so that someday, somehow, Palpatine can return. But I don’t think so.

This past week’s episode saw Baylan part with his apprentice. It was very reminiscent of Ben telling Luke, “Your destiny lies along a different path from mine.” I loved it.

Dungeons & Dragons

My bi-weekly game was canceled for scheduling reasons for much of the summer, which, as any long-time D&D player knows, is just part of the tradition. The hardest thing about playing D&D is actually getting together to play D&D.

This past Monday, the fates aligned and karma smiled upon us, and we gathered in my friend’s basement to continue our adventure. We broke every cardinal rule—splitting the party, tempting fate when we knew danger lurked just below, repeatedly insulting the main enemy’s appearance—and it was glorious.³ I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: Dungeons & Dragons is my favorite thing.

Hostess Orange Cupcakes

When it comes to Hostess, most people think of Twinkies or Fruit Pies, or maybe the chocolate cupcakes. Most people are Hostessing wrong.

Hostess Orange Cupcakes have been a favorite of mine since childhood. I don’t eat them as often now, but occasionally when we’re on our way to the checkout at Walmart, a package will magically find its way into our cart. It’s the darnedest thing.

I recently devoured a two-pack and it was a shot of sugary nostalgia.

Funnily, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who eats these cupcakes. As the saying goes—you can’t teach taste. You have to taste it. Taste and see.⁴

If you want to give them a shot, buy the two-pack from Walmart or 7-11. Don’t buy the 12-pack box. It’s not the same experience.

Happiness for Beginners

Netflix

We’re all friends here, so let’s be honest—most Netflix movies suck. Even when they don’t scrimp on the cast and the writing is okay, there’s just something lacking about the whole thing. So watching a Netflix-produced movie is always a bit of a crapshoot.

Happiness for Beginners popped up on our feed recently. I was quietly intrigued because Ellie Kemper (The Office) and Luke Grimes (Yellowstone). But also quietly convicted it would be forgettable blandness because Netflix.

I’m happy to report this is a good one. I mean, it’s not amazing, or anything. Keep your expectations in check. It’s a good movie to watch with your someone while you are curled up eating popcorn on a Saturday evening. It’s cute, and sometimes funny, and sometimes that’s enough.

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💡Did You Know

Liking a post ensures it is seen broadly across Substack.

Liking something is also a universal sign you like something.

NBC

1. There was a super brief blip of time where I could dunk, sorta—3 months during the summer of 1998. I could get my hand over the rim but, like Billy Hoyle in the film, I often lost my grip at the moment of truth (two-handed dunks were out of the question). I was 20 years-old, 6’3”, and played basketball 2-3 times a week. Peak Eric, in other words. And even then, it was a struggle. White men really can’t jump.

2. I legitimately went through an Admiral Piett phase, which is the dorkiest thing I’ve ever copped to doing. (Complementary link for the 90% of you who have no clue who I’m talking about.)

3. The enemy was a snake-woman called a Yuan-Ti. She had an absolute unit of a forehead. Like a continental shelf. Mushrooms could grow in the shade her brow cast.

4. I heard the ‘Taste and See’ song at a Catholic church once and I will never not look for a place to insert a joke about it.