What's the Difference Between Okay Rom-Coms and Great Ones?
Anyone But You and Long Shot are both rom-coms, but there the similarities end
I recently watched a rom-com on two consecutive Friday evenings. It was not intentional. I don’t plan my day around a rom-com, the way I would a new action movie, a heralded drama, a buzzy comedy, or even the umpteenth Star Wars rewatch. Maybe I’m alone in this, but rom-coms tend to be the fallback option, the thing I pick when nothing else jumps out at me, or if I’m in the mood for something light. Sure—let’s watch this.
I enjoy rom-coms, in the same way I like Little Caesar’s pizza or yellow Starburst.1 Most of them are fine. Some few are legitimately great.
Defining ‘Rom-Com’ Is a Slippery Slope
I started filling out my personal Mount Rushmore of rom-coms, but quickly quit because I haven’t seen many of the all-timers in so long, and usually only the once, that I couldn’t be objective. Everyone says When Harry Met Sally is the greatest, but my heart leans Can’t Buy Me Love because I’ve probably seen it 20 times.
I briefly glanced at Vanity Fair’s list of the best rom-coms and closed my browser when I saw Coming to America. Look: I am a certified Eddie Murphy truther. I think he’s the greatest comedian of all-time, and Coming to America is one of his best movies. But is it a rom-com? Really? What about The 40-Year-Old Virgin? That’s a no for me, dawg.
Both of those movies fit the legalistic definition of rom-com. I maintain they are comedies, straight up, with romantic subplots. True, Coming to America is about Akeem finding his queen. I don’t care—it’s a comedy about finding love, not a romantic comedy. There’s a difference. It may only matter to me, but there’s absolutely a difference.
If comedy and romance are buckets, and we have 100 Hersey Kisses we can distribute to determine which way the movie leans, I’d put 95 chocolates in Coming to America’s comedy bucket. When Harry Met Sally is closer to 50/50. That’s the difference.
I watch Coming to America for Sexual Chocolate, the fish out of water hijinks, Prince Akeem slumming it at McDowell's, Soul Glo, and the barber shop quartet. The romantic subplot never even crosses my mind. Meanwhile, I’d watch When Harry Met Sally for a heartwarming love story that’s often hilarious.2
I think to be a true rom-com, romance needs to take the lead. Rom-coms also tend to be less funny than cute. They’re predictable—guy gets girl, eventually—which doesn’t bode well for rewatchability or artistry. Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt won Oscars for As Good as It Gets, but that movie is at least 1/3 drama, and is not cliched or overly sentimental.3 I’d argue that’s the dramatic part of the story at work.
I don’t hate rom-coms. I’m always game to watch one, in spite of everything I just said. Sometimes cute and predictable is exactly what you’re looking for.
In Rom-Coms, Word of Mouth Is King
Long Shot is a great movie and a stellar rom-com, one of the best the genre can offer. It sadly made just over $53 million at the worldwide box office against a budget of $40 million. Profitable, if just. Worse yet, I’ve never heard anyone talk about this movie, and I live for this kind of thing. I recently plugged Long Shot and got a few responses affirming my taste—always nice—but those are literally the only time anyone has ever talked about this movie with me.
Here’s maybe the craziest part, which I just discovered—I run a large pop culture outlet with a sizable stable of writers and we have never run a single story about Long Shot, a movie that came out in 2019. Somehow we, collectively, have slept on this movie.
I understand how it happened. The vibe is hella confusing.
I just don’t get this poster at all. What’s with the peace signs? The characters are involved with politics, but it reads as hopelessly uncool. It looks like two middle-aged people trying desperately to be hip and failing miserably. Who the hell wants to watch that? Answer: Not other middle-aged people who still think they’re cool, and certainly not anybody younger.
When your advertising makes Charlize Theron look like a dorky Hillary Clinton cosplayer, you’ve got problems.
Anyone But You is one of the buzziest movies in recent memory. It’s a middle of the road rom-com, cute and predictable, but somehow brought in nearly $220 million worldwide against a $25 million budget. Cha-ching. So much so that Sony Pictures is anxious to run it back with the two leads in any other film.
Anyone But You stars Glen Powell and Syndey Sweeney, a couple of B-level celebrities on an upward trajectory.4 Their appeal is instantly obvious if you have eyeballs. Not leaving anything to chance, the film used the oldest marketing trick in the book—sex sells—by implying if not outright suggesting sparks were flying between the two leads, for real. I can only assume the manipulation was intended to pull a Mr. and Mrs. Smith style frenzy, which rode rumors of romance and infidelity to a worldwide gross of $487 million.5
The difference, of course—Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were A-listers and two of the most beautiful people we’ve ever had. Pitt was also married to Jennifer Aniston at the time. Sweeney’s fiancé is a <checks notes> vape design businessman.
Anyone But You is enjoying a second life on Netflix; as of this writing, it’s the #1 movie on the platform. Meanwhile, you’ll only find Long Shot if you go looking for it.
And you should go look for it. Because Long Shot is a perfect blend of rom and com—it’s heartwarming and legitimately funny—and also just a good movie.
The Difference Between Just Okay and Great
When it comes to certain genres, my “is this good or is it crap” meter defaults to a lower baseline. I will never hold a rom-com to the same standard I expect from the latest Christopher Nolan film, or even from Star Wars.6 They just aren’t in the same league.
That doesn’t mean rom-coms can’t be great, or shouldn’t strive for greatness. Their potential is just restrained by the conventions of the genre—the meet-cute; the role of misunderstandings as sources of conflict; the inevitability of the happy ending, which is both a buoy and an anchor. For a rom-com to stand out, it needs to do something unexpected and different.
I’m going to step lightly in respect to spoilers.
Anyone But You is a textbook rom-com. And it’s just okay.
The lead characters meet by chance in a coffee shop. They immediately hit it off and spend an amazing night together. They don’t have sex, instead spending hours entwined in emotional intimacy before passing out from sheer exhaustion. A stupid and contrived misunderstanding derails what appears to be the most ideal relationship in history, and the rest of the movie is spent trying to get these two back on course, often by literally forcing them together. Anyone But You is a cute movie, and sometimes actually funny, but it’s also very frustrating.
When a movie’s central conflict involves a misunderstanding that can resolved in 30 seconds, but instead is artificially perpetuated until the leads finally talk at a dramatically appropriate time—otherwise known as the film’s climax—your conflict isn’t really a conflict at all.
The central question—when will these beautiful idiots stop being stupid—is the only thing driving the movie. That they’ll get together is not in question. This is a rom-com. Those are the rules. But given the weak conflict, the best we can hope for are sufficient shenanigans to make us forget or overlook the lame premise. We don’t get that. Instead, Anyone But You coasts on bone structure and cleavage.
Long Shot is a great rom-com because it has ambitions beyond ‘happily ever after.’ It actually has something to say, and does so in surprising and often hilarious ways.
There is no meet-cute, which breaks every law known to man. Didn’t miss it.
The leads know each other from childhood; the story of when they last saw each other is pure tragicomedy. You feel bad, but only a little because you’re laughing so hard. Better yet, when the characters reconnect as adults, we’re not showered with sparks. There’s maybe a hint at what could come—and obviously will, given the genre—but mostly it’s Seth Rogan wishing he could date Charlize Theron but recognizing she’s way out of his league. And not even just because she’s Charlize Theron! She’s the Secretary of State and he’s a schlubby writer who thinks athletic wear is formal attire.
When the impossible happens, it doesn’t feel preordained because the film has spent time romancing us. We want it to happen not to resolve a dumb plot point and put us out of our misery, but because we like these people and want good things for them.
Even better, it doesn’t come easy. Long Shot feels real world accurate. It would probably be controversial if a high-ranking government official dated someone who looks like they spend their days laughing at their own farts. There are serious ramifications to continuing the relationship. Moving forward isn’t as easy as “let’s finally talk about the thing we’ve spent the last 90 minutes of runtime ignoring.”
Conversely, Anyone But You is the grilled cheese of movies.7
I like grilled cheese as much as the next guy. Sometimes gooey cheese and crispy bread is exactly what the doctor ordered. But most times, I want something significant. Something to chew on. Something that will take time to digest. Something I wouldn’t mind seeing on the menu again.
Most rom-coms are disposable. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
My personal Starburst rankings: Red (obvy), pink, orange, yellow. I like lemon-flavored things, but lemon Starburst are not great.
I keep using When Harry Met Sally for illustrative purposes, mainly because it’s widely recognized as being the greatest rom-com ever. But I haven’t seen it since sometime around puberty, and thus, the only thing that sticks in my mind is the sex scene where Billy Crystal loses enthusiasm, and “I’ll have what she’s having.” What can I say—I was a teenager and my antenna was finely tuned to pick up certain signals.
All this reminds me: At some point, I need to write my magnum opus about how 80s movies like Weird Science and Revenge of the Nerds were part of my sexual education. I’m frankly a little nervous to open that door because I haven’t seen either in decades and I know Nerds in particular doesn’t age well, which is a nice way of saying it has a ridiculous amount of casual sexual abuse. Nerds did teach me the term “hair pie,” though.
Obligatory “Sorry, Mom.”
I’m not even sure I’d classify As Good as It Gets as a comedy. I don’t remember laughing.
I don’t intend any shade by calling Powell and Sweeney B-level celebrities. Many of my favorite actors—Timothy Olyphant, Jon Bernthal, Nathan Fillion—are Bs.
The Mr. and Mrs. Smith box office figure was in 2005 dollars. Adjusted for inflation, it’s closer to $800 million today. Bonkers.
If anything, I hold Star Wars to a higher standard because of 40+ years of built-in nostalgia and also the deep-seated emotional scarring from being disappointed so many times.
Anyone But You includes two gratuitous grilled cheese scenes. I’ll say one thing for it—those sandwiches looked delicious.
I haven't seen Anyone But You, but I did see Long Shot and loved it. I'm not usually a rom-com watcher, but this was more com than rom, to me. Also I've known a woman who was an elected government official who dated a guy who was definitely not what you could say was a socially acceptable type for a politician to be seen with (although he is an okay guy), so it does happen, but definitely not common.
Per your footnote 4, have you seen Slither? At first I was insulted you put Nathan Fillion on the B list, but then I remembered this movie and had to agree lol
Of course you knew I was going to drop by with a "WHMS deserves a rewatch," and here's why, two words: Nora. Ephron. Wait, two more words: Carrie Fisher. The diner scene is the least interesting moment in the film now because it's been so talked about and parodied. Every word out of Carrie Fischer's mouth is gold-gold-gold. Her delivery alone steals more than one scene. But to your point of what separates the rom-com wheat from the Hallmark Christmas chaff is the writing. Nora Ephron was a writer's writer and it shows in every line of that screenplay. The documentary confessionals between all the couples are like little micro-fictions. Who is writing at that level these days? Follow the pen and you'll find your rom-com worth spooning at night. #PREACH!