Discover more from All the Fanfare
Some Novel and Inventive Ideas for New Star Wars Stories
Star Wars is more than Jedi and Stormtroopers
Unless you are a Star Wars dowser like me, there’s a good chance you don’t know the trailer for season 3 of The Mandalorian dropped Monday. Part of my service here is to inform you of such noteworthy things. Here’s the trailer, if you care to watch it.
We are big fans of The Mandalorian here at Casa de los Pierce. How big, you ask? I jokingly suggested to my wife that I’d like to have a life-sized Baby Yoda toy just because I’m a nerd like that, so she bought me one for Christmas. He now looks over me with his cutely vacant-yet-hungry stare as I type these words.
There’s a lot to love about the season 3 trailer, but it smacks a little too much of the same-old, same-old. Namely, freaking Jedi. After 40-something years, I’m just kinda over them. The Mandalorian promised to be about something different, but here we are again, watching emotionally distant monks run around with glowing light swords. Meet the new boss, same as the old.
I understand the moment in question is probably a fleeting flashback, but that’s besides the point. The issue is Star Wars’ continual need to return to the same story well over and over again, long after it has dried out. For a story that takes place in an enormous galaxy teeming with life, it sure seems to involve the same handful of people, doesn’t it?
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As Andor so capably proved, it doesn’t have to be that way. Thus, I present to you Eric’s Novel and Inventive Ideas for New Star Wars Stories.
Bantha Poodoo: A mockumentary in the style of The Office, which follows the daily struggles of the people working—and more often dying—in the employ of Jabba the Hutt.
I, Lobot: a one-man play about Lando’s lobotomized manservant told entirely via pantomime.
Scum and Villainy: A 20 minute sitcom reminiscent of Cheers that centers on the aliens and roughnecks that are customers of a Mos Eisley bar.
Misunderstood: The Sheev Palpatine Story: a glossy, 20-part documentary recasting the actions of Emperor Palpatine in a new light; funded by the Imperial Preservation Society.
Only a Sith Deals in Absolutes!: a game show ala The Dating Game, wherein a contestant tries to identify the Sith by asking questions of the group.
Clumsy and Random: a reality TV show where Stormtroopers compete against one another in shooting games.
My Life On the Run: a film-length documentary about the meteoric rise and drug-fueled fall of Figrin D'an, the frontman of “Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes” (e.g. the Cantina band).
This Old Clone: a weekly DIY program in which an old clone trooper shows how people can upgrade their bodies with costly and difficult renovation projects that seem so easy when squeezed into a 30-minute runtime.
I Didn’t Shoot First: a somber documentary about the death of Greedo at the hand of the villainous Han Solo.
Always a Bigger Fish: a reality program following the crew of a Gungan fishing boat that braves the open sea in a quest to land the biggest fish.
Love in Binary: an avant-garde film about the torrid love affair between a translator droid and a moisture vaporator.
How I Met My New Apprentice: a comedy about a Sith Lord’s struggles to find a worthy apprentice. Hijinks ensue.
Most of these are super tongue-in-cheek—and are probably terrible—but I maintain that they are all genuine possibilities. Star Wars needn’t mean Jedi + Stormtroopers, forever.
Which of these crazy ideas would you actually watch? Leave a comment and let me know!
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