Point Break Mega Article: Part 2

Point Break's Juice Comes From the Sizzling Swayze/Reeves Bromance at its Heart

20th Century Fox

I finished part two in the Point Break mega series and sent it to subscribers a few minutes ago. Right now I’m feeling more than a little relieved, but also strangely empty? Like I’ve been working on this piece so long that what even is life without it?

I’m happy with how it turned out. The trick with these kinds of things is to inject enough of yourself into it. You can’t just dryly recap plot points. You need to bring something unique to the telling. Humor works wonders. Which is why part two includes remembrances of mullets gone by, an ode to my 4th grade girlfriend, Paula Abdul, and a lot of other stuff that isn’t Point Break, but I somehow tie back to it.

I’m also a bit amazed about how long it turned out. 24 minute read-time. Over 6000 words. It’s the longest article I’ve ever published. I said I might compile these into a book when I’m done and that suddenly seems pretty feasible, if not stupidly logical.

(I imagine some of you are scratching your heads right now because you are subscribed—how else are you getting this email?—but you didn’t get said mega email. That’s because I’m using two different platforms, for reasons I don’t think anyone but a handful of you will care about—ask me in the comments if you want. Substack—this!—is for newsletters, and Ghost is hosting the website—e.g. allthefanfare.com—where the mega articles reside, and that requires a separate sign-up from Substack. Though it now occurs to me that I should probably just combine the two subscriber groups because nobody but me cares about platforms. So if you get an email from All the Fanfare, that’s just me doing precisely that.

Too bad I hadn’t thought of that about 20 minutes ago.)

I included a brief excerpt below to tickle your whistle. The entire article is here.

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If you can, cast your mind back to 1991. (This exercise may prove difficult if you were in diapers at the time, or impossible if you did not yet exist; in such circumstances, please bear with me–this will be short.) '91 was the year the Soviet Union breathed its last. It was when we met Macaulay Culkin, grunge, and Sonic the Hedgehog. Bread went for 73 cents a pound, which seems mind-boggling mostly because I have never bought bread by the pound. We've only bought it by the loaf, incased in a clear plastic bag, or a paper bag if the bread was artisanal or from an actual bakery.

This interlude inspired me to consult with the loaf of Sara Lee sitting on our kitchen counter. Imagine my surprise when I discovered Sara weighed in at a hefty-sounding 1 lb 4 oz. I've been buying bread by the pound this entire time. You have too, unless you're still baking sourdough like it's 2020.  

It's impossible to find a non-blurry version of this, which makes me wonder if every 80s kid really needed glasses. Image: NBC

In 1991, I was a 13 year-old living in Metro Detroit rocking a spiked mullet with racing stripes.

I wish I was joking.

There was a brief blip in time when this haircut was considered cool, and then it was cast into the fiery chasm from whence it came. I'd like to claim my haircut was unintentional, the result of some horrific woodchipper accident or a mean-spirited prank. But I requested it, and walked away feeling like a bad ass.

My mom must've taken pity on me because I have zero pictures of this monstrosity. I briefly considered including a random picture of this hairstyle for illustrative purposes, but my ego can't deal with thousands of people laughing at me. There's google if you really need to see it.

All of this is to say, I had my finger on the pulse of cool in 1991. And Point Break was one of the coolest things I'd ever seen, complete lack of mullets aside. (It's ironic that Patrick Swayze, a guy who'd never met a mullet he didn't like, ditched the look in 1991. He'd read the room better than 13 year-old me.)