Is Force Lightning a Euphemism for Peeing?
It's hard to stop once you start
I’ve always found it rather funny that Palpatine, the most powerful Dark Side practitioner ever, can’t seem to stop using Force Lightning once he starts. Even if it would clearly be in his best interest. Like when he’s catching stray bolts with his face.
One could argue that Palpatine is playing some variety of Star Wars 4D chess here, perhaps using his transfiguration to lure Anakin to the Dark Side. Or that the lightning just burns away the mask he has been wearing while he moonlights as mild-mannered Sheev Palpatine, Chancellor of the Republic and friend of Gungans everywhere. Or that he’s a sadist who likes pain in all flavors, including self-inflicted.
But I like my theory best.
Palpatine just can’t hold it once it starts flowing. We see it time and time again.
There’s the time he melts his own face, as shown above.
There’s the time he just keeps spraying while Vader tosses him down an energy shaft.
There’s the time he keeps spraying until he literally comes apart at the seams, ala Voldemort.
Force Lightning is the Pringles of the Star Wars universe: Once you pop, you can’t stop.
As someone who has peed before, I get it. Who hasn’t been on a long car ride with no way to relieve the pressure building in your bladder? Once you reach a toilet or tree, could you stop mid-stream at that point? Palpatine rarely uses his lightning; dude is running around with a full Force bladder practically 24x7. No wonder he can’t stop once it starts flowing.
Listen: Not to get too “6th grade science class” on y’all, but as a byproduct of the male anatomy and the fact that we pee standing up, there’s also the obvious comparisons to splashing and general collateral damage. Sometimes you accidentally pee on your own shoe. It happens.
To extend this analogy a little further—I’d like to now briefly consider the scenes in which Dooku and Palpatine throw lighting at Yoda. Yoda catches the bolts and throws them back or deflects them. Bolts are flying every which way. There’s a lot of wreckage. Is that the equivalent of “crossing the streams”?
I think that’s as good a place as any to end this.
