Famous Archeologist Canceled After Photos Leak of Him at Nazi Rally
Sunday Funnies #2: Does Indiana Jones love snakes, too?
Growing up, I was a big fan of the comics section of the Sunday newspaper, which we colloquially called ‘the funnies.’ This is an attempt to tap into some of that energy. Sometimes the best way to talk about pop culture is to make fun of it.Photos surfaced last week of renowned archeologist Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr. attending a Nazi rally in Germany. Dr. Jones largely built his outsized reputation fighting Nazis, but this revelation casts doubt on the veracity of those stories. Was Indiana Jones a Nazi collaborator all along?
“That’s preposterous,” Dr. Marcus Brody said when confronted with the photos. Dr. Brody is a close friend to the Jones family and an occasional collaborator on their adventures. “Indy was infiltrating the rally, that he might get closer to the head of the snake itself. Give evil the old what for, right betwixt the eyes!”
However, the photographic evidence is conclusive: When Indiana Jones came face-to-face with Adolf Hitler himself, he asked for an autograph.
This is not Dr. Jones’ first brush with scandal.
Though he is employed as a professor at Marshall College in Connecticut, Jones primarily travels the globe in search of ancient antiquities, for which he is paid a handsome bounty by Western museums. In the past, some have accused Jones of being a vigilante grave robber, though to this point, his detractors have been few. Most see the charismatic archeologist as a hero, a throwback to the days when men shaved using flecks of granite and wore powdered wigs.
The leaked photos mark a drastic sea change in the court of public opinion. Days after the photos surfaced, Marshall College caved to pressure and placed Dr. Jones on indefinite administrative leave.
Dr. Jones has avoided the public eye and has not returned calls requesting a comment on this story. In a written statement, Dr. Jones claimed the photos were “taken out of context” and “in no way represent who I am or what I stand for.”
He may not be unemployed for long.
In light of the news, David Duke announced he was reaching out to gauge Dr. Jones’ political ambitions. “Quite honestly, I’d always seen him as a lib. What with all that education. Too much learning makes a man stupid. But this changes things. Apparently he was a patriot all along.
“I look forward to fitting him for a sheet.”
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Notes, With Additional Commentary
Substack has a social media component called Notes, which I’ve discovered is pretty fun to use. Here are some bangers I posted this past week.
One of the best parts of watching The Bear is how it changes how you work in the kitchen. I tend to be the sous chef at my house, with me taking direction from my wife. I’ve started saying, “yes chef,” after every instruction, which I find hilarious. Her less so.
Look—if we’re gonna be friends, you need to understand that I have the maturity of a 5-year-old.
I’ve been bingeing G.I. Joe lately. The show is the definition of episodic, in that every episode is basically the same. And they all end with Cobra Commander losing his crap at Destro. It’s an interesting dynamic.
You will absolutely see G.I. Joe in the pole position of the Sunday funnies at some point. I think the show works best as satire. We’ll see!
I’ll probably talk about the trip to Indianapolis in next week’s High 5. But here’s a teaser.
Update: I did buy that book. And also a new set of itty-bitty dice.
In closing, this isn’t so much funny as it is awe-inspiring.
As Qui-Gon Jinn memorably said in The Phantom Menace, “There’s always a bigger nerd.”
That’s it for this edition of the Sunday funnies! Have a great week.
LOL!
I need Sunday funnies this and every week