10 Dungeons & Dragons Monsters That Would Be Hilarious ‘Stranger Things’ Antagonists

Ranked by deadliness because why not

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Each season of Stranger Things has introduced new antagonists named after a Dungeons & Dragons monster. That's how we got the Demogorgon, the Mindflayer, and Vecna.

D&D has a huge roster of iconic monsters. And also strange amalgamations that must've arrived via cocaine-fueled fever dreams. What if for the fifth and final season, Stranger Things went in an entirely different direction and pit the crew against something a little weird?

Here are some the most out-there and bizarre D&D monsters I've ever heard of, creatures that’d be hilarious foils for our heroes. I’ve included a danger ranking to the town of Hawkins for each, even if most of these should be zeroes.

Duckbunny

A bunny with the bill and webbed feet of a duck. Or a duck with the body and head of a bunny. I'm not really sure.

Either way, not very scary. This low-effort creation is almost the most ridiculous D&D creature I’ve ever heard of (spoiler: said monster is in this article and you’ll know it when you see it).

Threat to Hawkins: I know I said I was rating on a scale of 1–10, but I’m calling this a big fat zero. The bunny part of its DNA will probably keep it busy humping other Duckbunnies. Maybe that's the true horror.

Stench Kow

If you’ve spent any time around a farm, you know that cows stink. But how much worse do you need to smell to be singled out from the regular cows and branded an entirely new kind of creature?

These creatures resemble bison more than cows (or kows, if you’re nasty). Their defining feature is their foul odor, which is so bad that standing within 20 feet will poison you, and could actually kill you. Ew, David.

Threat to Hawkins: There is no real malevolence here; I doubt the kows even realize they stink. And if you wandered downwind of one, you could just, you know, walk away. 1 out of 10.

Piercer

A creature indistinguishable from a stalactite (that’s the one attached to the ceiling), piercers can grow up to 6 feet in length and are very pointy. They literally hang from the ceiling all day, waiting for some poor unsuspecting bastard to walk directly underneath. And then the piercer plummets and tries to skewer their prey.

Threat to Hawkins: On one hand, getting stabbed by an enormous rock—through the head, probably—is pretty fatal. But piercers can barely move and they can only attack one person. And if it misses? It has to crawl back to the ceiling to try again. It's the misery of dragging an inflatable back to the top of a 5-story slide, and just as slow. These things are really only a threat in caves, so let’s call it a 2/10.

Flail Snails

Human-sized snails with multiple tentacles and a glowing, rainbow colored shell. Can you imagine the thrilling chase scene where our heroes try to outrun a snail? They'll have a huge head start since the shell is the equivalent of a Las Vegas strip billboard.

But that’s not even the best part: if all the tentacles are killed, the snail retracts into its shell and starts crying loudly until it dies.

Yep.

Threat to Hawkins: We’ll call this a 2/10, as the idea of a huge snail is pretty horrific, even if it’s just wailing inside its shell. Maybe more so.

Mimic

Carnivorous creatures that disguise themselves as something mundane like a door or dresser and devour anyone who tries to open it. Mimics most commonly masquerade as treasure chests because even semi-cognizant creatures know that players are greedy.

Threat to Hawkins: Mimics are one of the most iconic D&D monsters, but that in no way makes them any less ridiculous. The only way to threaten Hawkins is with a furniture store’s worth of them. Even then, the threat is pretty low. 2/10.

Moonrats

Regular old rats that become stronger and smarter as the moon becomes fuller, culminating in rats that are superior to humans during the full moon. But only during the full moon — the other 29 days of the month they spend rummaging through garbage, per usual.

Threat to Hawkins: Rats en masse are already ick—hello, rat king—but the idea of rats that are stronger and smarter than humans is just plain wrong. Even if it only happens once a month, this silly monster has some bite. 5/10.

Brain in a Jar

Exactly what it sounds like: a brain floating in a jar of embalming fluid. It’s undead, which is geek speak for dead but not really. The brain boasts Professor X style mind powers; it probably orders people to move it to a shelf with a better view or give it a dusting. What else could a disembodied brain want?

Threat to Hawkins: Mind control is nothing to sneeze at. However, the Brain in a Jar is only one toddler way from being Brain in Pile of Jagged Glass, Slowly Dying. 6/10.

Death Linen

Yep. Linen, as in bed sheets.

This is the stuff that gets kids beat up for playing D&D.

Death Linen comes in three varieties: Killer Pillow, Flannel Beast, and Sheet. What was once everyday bedding gets infected with psychotic energy from nightmares. And now it has a thirst for blood, or a need to kill, or a need for speed, or something.

Threat to Hawkins: I want to say no threat, no chance. But a seemingly inert creature that literally lies in wait while you put on your night creams and whatnot and then strangles you when you get into bed and nobody is around to help is the kind of messed up that fits Stranger Things. 7/10.

Thought Eater

Thought Eaters are emaciated gray platypuses that are completely invisible—you may rightly wonder how we know what they look like, but such logic is not welcome here. Per the name, Thought Eaters get sustenance by consuming thoughts. They feed until sated or the victim dies. Okay.

Some people say that D&D is a weird game and even though I love it, right now I’m inclined to agree.

Threat to Hawkins: Handled poorly, this invisible foe would make for a stranger version of The Happening. But assuming M. Night Shamarock isn’t involved, a pack of Thought Eaters you can’t fight or see that are slowly sucking the brain juices out of everyone in Hawkins is a special kind of terrifying. 8/10

Disenchanter

A zebra with the long tongue of an anteater that licks magic items like they're popsicles, turning them into regular old items. And then I guess it finds the next guy running around with an unprotected magic sword and does the same thing to him.

Threat to Hawkins: If you categorize Eleven’s abilities as magic, then this is an easy 9 or 10. Without her, Hawkins is completely screwed. But otherwise, the only risk is to the magic that is Steve and Robin’s friendship. Therefore, this is obviously a 10/10.

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While some of these creatures are just silly, most of them could work as Stranger Things antagonists, emphasis on strange. I’m actually inspired to bust a few of these out in my own game. Maybe use a herd of Stench Kows to drive the characters toward a clothesline where Death Linen hang to dry.

No, I was right before. That’d be lame.